You can find people carrying a negative charisma in almost every corner of the world. Normally you stop surrounding yourself with such people if you meet them and get a negative vibe off them.
In some places it is not that easy to just walk away and never speak with respective people ever again. There is the workplace for example. You need to learn how to deal with people who are, at least from your own perspective, emitting negative waves if you like your workplace. Quitting your job is no option! Dealing with it takes some work for itself. Since this is my blog let’s take a look into how I am approaching such situations.
For me, having a problem with certain people, it was hard to actually grasp the underlying problem. I started asking questions to myself in order to analyse the situation. Nobody is perfect and maybe I am the one who needs to change. (Thanks, Clara)
- What makes you believe, they are emitting negative vibes?
- Are they emitting negative vibes only in your direction?
- What’s the actual content of their speaking?
- Comparing to other colleagues, what makes them stand out?
- What could be the basis of their negativity?
- Are you responsible?
- Are you maybe also affected by the same issue they are dealing with?
Responsibility makes the difference
You find out that you are not responsible for their negativity? Great! But that means you are not in direct control of their actions towards you. If you are not responsible you probably can’t solve this situation. The only thing you can do is give them to understand that you are not the person they are looking for.
These questions can only help to determine whether people have a problem with you or just being stressed out by something else, but use you as a valve. Don’t be the valve for other people, if you are not responsible.
In some cases it can help writing everything down. Maybe speaking to your significant other about that. It can get bigger without help and eventually too big to handle. The workplace is the place where you spend a massive portion of your day. Don’t make it harder by being a lightning conductor to others.
If you find yourself in a situation where you are actually responsible for their negativity towards you then I see no alternative to directly confronting the respective person. Ask him or her what the issue is without mocking! Tell them what you feel. They often are surprised by that approach and going to tell you what issue they have with you. The other scenario is that they use your sudden frankness to mock you. Congratulations you have found on of the dicks/cunts in the company.
Next week I’ll maybe write about how to deal with dicks and cunts.
Feature Photo by Jen Theodore